Whitney Houston

Standing up for yourself and saying it like it is still has an uneasiness to it. I would like to be totally honest and express thoughts and feelings in a way that is true to me but how often isn't impossible to get it out there unattached to emotions and reactions. Effects are bound to enter in unwanted places and need to be dealt with before they become a story on their own. Something you initially wanted to prevent by being honest.

There are those who are able to be blunt and untethered and seemingly genuine but as a hyper-sensitive personality I always wonder what's behind their facade. Is it possible to just not care because the respective antenna is too short to pick up the vibe? Is mine too long..
Sensing the atmosphere and reading into it can be a tricky talent if you are unaware of the boundaries. How true can one be anyway?  In search of who we are we all give it our best shot in persueing the happinez we crave but how often do we wander in spite of ourselves? 

Yet another troubled soul who was greatly gifted could not be true to herself and share her splendour in her own way. Having a singer daughter who used 'I will always love you' as her voice warm-up the specific song Whitney Houston is famous for has an intricate meaning to me. We really need to take better care of who we are,  starting with freeing ourselves from everything that is irrelevant and unworthy of the purest and most virtuous beings that we have always been meant to be. Listen to I will always love from another perspective, one that will resonate deep within your own soul and receive the love for YOU. 

Snow magic

Is it the blanket of snow and the deafening of the noise or the reflection of light that the fresh layer of crystalline whiteness makes people calmer and more at ease? Not all though; those stuck in traffic or waiting for delayed trains and planes have less peacefulness about them. But taking a walk in the transformed landscape witnessing frozen time and friendly faces that otherwise pass you by ignorantly, makes you wonder... snow as an angelic veil comforting us. Ice too, adding to the fun, especially here in the Netherlands where skating is a national trade. Days ahead of the weather forecast reporting low temperatures the Dutch dive into their storage to find ice skates, sleds and other gear to prepare for long cold but fulfilling tours on the frozen rivers and lakes. Happy people all at once. Forgotten are worries and troubles because now is now, when the ice and snow are here. It can be a short while so take it while you can. I remember long cold winters but they've become rare. Escaping from the grey and damp that life can look like shouldn't need a snow storm to cheer us up but it does, magically!

Peaceful waters

Her suitcases packed and more than ready to go back to where she feels at home after a five week break my eldest daughter is being flown back to LA by her dad. It was most likely her last visit to the Netherlands staying in our house and it is definitely the last time to be able to sit up front with her father at the controls. All geared up to make the next move in the music business. It was good to have her home for a while and time to let go again.

So much is going on with everyone. Grownup kids coming and going, taking what they need including much of my time and attention but also my car and cash...When they're in their twenties the ease with which you handle it all is clearly diminishing. I can feel the energy out-pour versus in-take is out of whack. No one but me of course is to blame and it all has to do with the empty nest syndrome. I love having my kids around and thoroughly enjoy their stories but I can't seem to keep the balance in order. Taking time to be me, claiming my own space, wow, a challenge it is! Even though I will miss the rustle and bustle and taking care of everything I dare to say I long for some quiet time to gather my thoughts and make my own plans. A pause from worrying is a welcoming idea. So in preparation for the next waves I immerse myself in peaceful waters.